For those fathers who don't think they are needed and wanted as part of the black family, here is an article from an AfroDaddy contributor that demonstrates the positive impact a father can have.

December of 2005 I went on a job shadow for my current employer.  Back then, job shadows were three days of meeting the staff and kids, interviews, and watching the routine of the house.  I spent my time in suburbia and came home so happy at the experience, waiting to find out if I got the job.  On the way back home I stopped at Popeye's to get some lunch.  I walked in the door to find my mom preparing to leave for work, my dad relaxing in the living room.  My mom excitedly asked me about the trip.  I told them all the great things I had experienced, that I really wanted this job, and I was ok to move away from home and live at work.  I continued to eat and talk; my father, mid conversation, got up from the room and walked to the back of the house into his bedroom.  My mom and I looked confused, wondering why he would just leave suddenly.  I told her the rest of my tale; she congratulated me on a great job shadow, wished me the best, and moved on to finish preparing for work.  She went to get dressed in the bedroom and shortly thereafter came back into the living room where I was finishing my food.   She sat right next to me and leaned over in an attempt to whisper.  She told me that when she had gone into the bedroom my father was sitting on the edge of the bed--head down, with a tear in his eye.  He looked up at her and said, "our baby is all grown up.  My little girl is leavin the nest".  In that moment, I was so touched; I didn't think I could love my dad anymore.

A few weeks ago I hit the 5 year anniversary of my job.  That is a very rare accomplishment in my profession.  Though this is a time of great celebration, this blog entry is not a story about staying with your job, how to get along with co-workers, or any professional development.  This is the story of a girl and her father.

I am very fortunate to have always known my father.  Good days or bad, he was there each day when I woke up and kissed me goodnight before my bedtime, leaving to his night shift.  Between divorce, separation, baby-daddy drama, or any other circumstance, many kids dont know their father; they didn't have what now seems like a "luxury".    Sure, there were good days and bad between us, but I love my father.  I know my father has always tried to do the very best he could in raising his two daughters.  Being the only testosterone in a house of estrogen must not have been easy, but he did a great job--hey, look at the results three decades later ;)  He took me to church as a young girl.  He worked nights, and was there after school to cook dinner most days before my mom came home (though my sister and I didn't call beans, liver, and ox tails dinner).  He shopped and bartered for easter outfits and school clothes.  There were even days he tried to comb and style my hair--but that was short lived.     

I was the son he never had.  My most fond memories include eating lots of food and decades of WWF wrestling, complete with his infamous Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage voice impressions.  He tried to help me with my homework, and I tried to follow baseball games.  The second time I ever got my period he had to get my "necessities"; he brought back pads that could soak up the entire BP oil spill.  He questioned if I was a lesbian and made me buy "saturday shoes" so I wouldn't wear sneakers and boots all the time.  He is my father.  I love him.

I wish that all men understood the impact that fathers have on their daughters.  Fathers are the first men that little girls see.  How fathers interact with their daughters, wives, and families has a direct impact on how that daughter will grow up and interact with their significant others and families.  I am fortunate to have one of the best fathers on the planet.  Any man that desires to spend the rest of his life with me will have big shoes to fill and need to go through my father  first.

As I conclude, I invite you to listen to Beyonce's Daddy--a true testament of a father/daughter relationship.   "There is no one else like my daddy, and I thank you for loving me."

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