There she goes again, in her usual spot. Every Friday night, Tameka is posted up like a thumb tack. Guys will flirt and fill her with drinks. She always willingly accepts. Her philosophy is that she needs a man to take care of her. If you are the lucky man who can satisfy her sexual and financial desires, it won't make a difference. Tameka and her bag of woe will be back in the same spot next Friday, with the same lame excuse, waiting for another victim.

As a man, there is nothing more disheartening than finding out the woman you love, has been loved by everybody. As black men, this is a reality we face all too often. Not to say that all black women have a hidden agenda, but in the age of big pimping and big spending, it has become increasingly harder for the average black man to compete. What about the brother who goes to work everyday, and really understands the value of a dollar. He cannot afford $300 per bottle champagne, nor can he justify the purchase of a $1000 handbag. The fact that he views the handbag purchase as money better utilized in an investment, is he unworthy of companionship?

Finding the right woman to share one's time with is as essential to human life as water. Without the proper companion, life can seem intolerable, and down right miserable. Many men gloat about having the good life; a life filled with wild escapades and even wilder women. What lies deep down inside, that many men won't discuss, is the need to really feel loved and appreciated. Sure wild women can be fun, but a lot of men don't know how to distinguish a fling from the real thing. Is it because we think only with the head located below, or are we truly slow?

The secret to recognizing a good black woman is first recognizing the need for one. Many men are so scorned from previous relationships, they are uncertain if they even need a full time commitment. The reality is all men need a sense of fulfillment. No man wants to waste money constantly filling random women up with liquor, buying expensive shoes, and eating Ramen noodles the rest of the week for lunch and dinner. The fact is many men live this way because they feel as though they have to. The line of communication between black women and men has gotten so bad, that many brothers feel all black women are motivated by material possessions.

This is simply not true. The proven way to recognizing a good black woman is to recognize if you are a good black man. What qualities do you have to offer that good black woman that you seek so desperately? Identify those, and place yourself in surroundings that match your qualities and character. You'll be surprised by the results you get.

About the Author:

Digs Daily is a freelance writer from Lithonia, GA.  You can see his work on his personal blog Wux Flux as well as on Helium.

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